RANSVESTIA

Well, that's a discouraging picture so whats the solution? Simply this! If you admire femininity, if you want to BE a woman, then go ahead and be one, but be all of one not just the easy and fun part. "Desert is good, and you can have it, but only after you eat your salad and vegetables!" Ever tell that to your kids, or remember it being told to you as a child? That's the way life is. Why don't you practice it?

Consider how a wife might react to an FP husband who, when he got dressed up would grab a broom and sweep the kitchen, following that with a damp mop. Or who gets out the vacuum and does a really good job of vacuuming the place. Or who, if he can, gets dinner for the two of them and washes the dinner while the wife for once can sit in the living room and read the paper. Under this kind of cooperation she might not just merely put up with "another woman in the house," she might be darned glad that she was there. I've known a couple of wives who were married to that kind of an FP who told me that if anything ever happened to their husband they would look for another FP.

That kind of sharing of the hard and tiring aspects of womanhood as well as the soft and pretty sides of it would send an entirely different message to the wife. She would then see that her husband had and under- stood a complete picture of what it meant to be a woman and enjoyed ex- periencing it all (eating the salad and vegetables as well as the ice cream with fudge topping). She could then even feel more appreciated as a per- son because his sharing her feminine tasks and responsibilities with her proves to her that he is aware of all that she does as a wife (and mother) and appreciates it--thus appreciating her. This means of showing rec- ognition and appreciation, unusual as it might be and as unacceptable to society at large as it might be, will nevertheless be of great signifi- cance to her and will promote a greater sense of love, understanding and sharing between the two. Such a wife is not going to drop from a B to a D; she is more likely to rise to an A.

So I suggest that those of you with wives who rate as tolerant or better, that is who can stand to see you dressed up, lay off the fancy frills and high heels sometimes, put on a housedress, apron and flats and take your turn at being a housekeeper. I'm willing to bet that it will improve your wife's attitude beyond what it was regardless of the level. It's really a sim- ple matter of balance. If you want her to understand, accept and help you in your FP-ing then show her that you understand the totality of woman- liness (to be distinguished from femaleness of course), that you accept the bitter with the sweet sides of it and that you are ready to help her with her burdens too.

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